Mother’s Story

Mother’s Story

He was gone…Jacob was gone. September 11th, 2001 the news of the Twin Towers falling in New York City was on every major news station. We all remember the day vividly, what we were doing and where we were. Our co-workers in the airlines industry lost their lives that day along with many others to an unprecendented act of violence. Little did I know that this day, eighteen years later, would hold even more tragedy than our family could have imagined.

My husband left early that morning on 9/11/2019, headed to the airport for work while I continued watching the reenactment of 9/11/2001. I was suddenly aware of an abrupt and steady knock on the door. I opened it to see  two somber men standing, staring in silence, wearing blue uniforms. My heart fell. My mind began to race “had something happened to my husband on his way to work?” The police officers entered my house and the words that came from their lips were hollow and cold. My only son had overdosed and had been found unresponsive. I dropped to the floor. Our lives began spinning out of control. We were under the delusion that if children were raised with the “formula” of meeting their physical, emotional, and spiritual needs, and supporting them in their endeavors it somehow prevent them from choosing such a dark path. We thought we could influence their decisions when we were not with them in the outside world. I thought we could defeat this. What I could not comprehend was there was no “we” in the equation. It was all up to Jacob.

He died alone and in the dark from an accidental overdose on September 11, 2019. I miss his music and his ability to see beauty in all things. I miss his very presence. Over the past year after reading some of his notes, poetry, and lyrics he has inspired me to be more gracious and kind towards people and rediscover a love for life. I look forward to seeing him again someday and telling him how he has changed our lives and made me a better person as well as the legacy of many other lives he has positively influenced. I think he already knows.