There is something not comforting about the way people sometimes try to comfort you. Sometimes you hear “at least you had them for as long as you did”. Or “god have gained another angel”. One of my favorites is “now you have found your purpose in life”. Really? My Son had to die in order for me to find My Purpose!!

People also enjoy comparing your grief to their own. This sometimes angers me. Help feels like and intrusion and when someone attempts at connecting with you they usually come across clueless or rude. Grief has a hierarchy, but is not a competition. Not all grief is the same. Every loss is valid, but not every loss is the same. We need to honor all losses small or not, life changing or moment changing. We must not compare them. To be truly comforted you need to be heard in your pain.